Monday, February 2, 2009

A Few Thoughts Regarding My Personal Mishaps and Unsolicited Advice.

Many of you who actually know me in the physical realm (i.e.: the offline world) are aware that I don’t exactly have the best luck in my personal life (or lack thereof). Hell, I think a case can be made that I have the worst luck in the Western World when it comes to matters regarding romance/relationships/etc (maybe not a good case, but a case nonetheless). While I don’t want this post to be a pity party or some ruminations on my loneliness, there are a few things I want to get out of my system.

First, there’s the hassle of societal expectations. When you’re single past a certain age, you’re either considered sad and pathetic (society usually applies this to women but men get this to some degree as well) or irresponsible (i.e.: they think you’re falling from wild party to orgy and back). In both cases people often assume you know what to do to change things. It never occurs to people that one may be happy with where they’re at or that they might just be having really bad luck in this department. Often people want to think that if it’s easy for them then something should be easy for everyone. Guess what? It isn’t. Get used to it.

Then there’s one of the biggest things about this that pisses me off. Often when you’re down in this part of your life people feel the need to give you unsolicited advice on the matter. They don’t seem to want to really help but are more than willing to tell you to stay positive or not to give up. After a while of hearing this, one can begin to think that for every person who actually means what they say with this, two others may be throwing out platitudes to get you to shut up. This is where I find myself at right now and it’s pissing me off.

As a result I find myself ready to have a new rule (which I hate to do) regarding advice and my lack of a personal life (usually when it seems down, but sometimes even as passing comments). Any person who offers me unsolicited advice on my personal/love life (or lack thereof), including mentions to think positive and mentions of self fulfilling prophecies has to introduce me to women. Those not willing to help me out this way should please do me a favor and shut the fuck up.

I don’t like the idea of having rules but this is something I feel needs to be done since I’m not sure who really wants to help and who just wants me to shut up if I’m a bit skeptical and not kill their buzz. Besides, I think anyone willing to offer advice should at the very least help out. If I want advice I’ll ask for it.

That’s it for now. Hopefully people reading this will take this in the spirit intended. While maybe some people will help out, I have a feeling people more than likely will shut up rather than help. It may even make the situation worse (I've learned from experiences via past writing about my problems that things don't seem to turn around after I write about it, unfortunately). Maybe I’m wrong on this, but who knows.

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