Saturday, December 29, 2007

New Years yadda bloody yadda

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was working on this as a blog for my my space page and realized that it would fit in well here as well, so enjoy.

So 2007 is almost over! So what?

Just kidding, folks. As you already know, the year is pretty much over and we have a new one on the way. With it, many see a new chance to wipe the slate clean and put aside the problems of the past. Others make resolutions they may intend to follow but fall short of and abandon long before the year ends. Either way it's a change for many of us.

As for me, I'm personally glad 2007 is pretty much gone. It was a blah year for me and I really hope things are better in 2k8. Nothing serious wrong went down with me,
but nothing really great happened either. Now before you leave this and go on to something more upbeat, let me explain.

When the year started I was reeling over the end of a friendship - at least I thought
it was a friendship. It finally caved in over the holidays and managed to really darken my Christmas season. I'll describe this in a little more detail later on. From there it was mainly work when it happened (unfortunately, a merger at the paying job meant that there was more down time than I planned on) and not much else.

Don't get me wrong, there were some good times as well. A venue I tried to make it
to when I can (the late lamented No Coast) was a respite for me amidst the bullshit with some killer shows (a couple of examples: I Object, the second to last show of Los Loco Motives) and some good company. I learned who my friends actually were and went to some other cool shows. A ships passing situation made things a little easier to swallow. However, it was hard to get perspective given the black cloud the year
started on.

Needless to say I don't exactly have fond memories of the past 12 months. In fact, I think I existed more than lived the past year. I realize it was necessary to go through this shit to see the other side but it still sucks.

As I head to 2008 you may wonder what my hopes for the New Year are? There are the big things (world peace, a move from the currentidiocy in our system to something
more humane and a lot saner, etc) that some may find issue with.
However, if nothing else, I just hope that the people I care and give a shit about are happy, doing well, and creating (if they are so inclined). I know it's not a revolutionary concept but it's how I feel right now.

As for the former friend, this is someone I met a while back and was actually interested in possibly getting involved with. That blew up in my face and a troubled and flawed attempt at being friends (at least I thought it was) emerged from the ashes. While a lot of the pain from the incident had faded some of it still lingered. Then I came across a text file of some emails from her I thought I deleted. At first it seemed things weren't so bad, then I saw the pattern emerge by the end of her replies and my emails: she told me once she felt she would never get to know me yet when I had free time to possibly hang out (and thus get to know each other) she blew me off each goddamn time). I knew any chance of friendship was on life support, but realizing itmight've never been there in the first place cleared a lot of cobwebs and helped heal a lot of festering wounds. It should've ended a long fucking time ago.
With that mostly in the past I hope to embrace 2008 with open arms and hope
things get better. Meeting new people and having new experiences might
be good for me. Will it actually be better than last year? I have no
idea but things change and sometimesal you can do is hope for the best, do what you can, and see how the ride turns out (yeah, I know it sound hella cliche but it's true). Other than that, we're just in the crsshairs waiting for things to go down.

With that in mind, I want to wish everyone reading this an excellent New
Years and hope that everything works out better than you wanted it to.

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